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I've Just Gotta Vent For A Minute

11/19/2012

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Today has just been...one of those days.  You know what I'm talking about.  Our three-year-old son was "off" at different times today and dealing with the tantrums has just worn me out.  I'm sitting here with a migraine and unable to settle down to sleep.  Since sleep is still trying to elude me, I thought some venting on my blog might help me relax...so here I am and here I go.  Ready?

One thing I just can't get used to in regards to the Autism Spectrum is how drastically behavior can change from one day to the next.  Sunday our son was talking in three-word sentences which we could understand (no, that is not normal) and he interacted with his dad and siblings most of the day (that varies according to what he can handle).  I was getting excited thinking he was headed towards a breakthrough with his language and social engagement since our son had such a wonderful day.  (He still could be headed that direction, I know.)  Today, he hasn't been able to handle much interaction and there have been no three-word sentences that I have understood.  There has been a lot of head banging, toy throwing, screaming, and staring into space though.  He couldn't handle wearing his clothes this morning, so we put him in his surf shirt and leggings.  (For more info on that, please see the "Hints" page on our website.)  You know you're in for a tough day when you have to drag out the leggings first thing in the morning.  The other sign that forewarns of a tough day is when he repeatedly pulls off his 'pull-up' and runs around the house naked.  After a few tantrums and a nap, he improved a bit and his dad took him outside to play.  Sometimes this calms him down; other times it overstimulates him.  Anyway, his day ended well and he went to sleep pretty easily (thanks to the Melatonin).

I guess the not knowing how our son will be from one day to the next is what really gets to me.  I'm a planner, plain and simple.  I want to have a plan B to fall back on if plan A fails.  One of the biggest and hardest things I've had to learn was to be flexible.  I try to prepare for anything and everything he might do, but I can never quite cover it all.  For example, he pulled over a dining room chair and broke the back of it the other day.  He hasn't tried to do that in several weeks.  I never know what he will do and I'm finding that it's getting harder to keep him from doing the things he does (throwing objects, hitting and kicking things, etc.).

He's also extremely unpredictable in regards to what he can handle socially.  Some days he'll interact just fine then, all of the sudden, he's screaming and hitting his head on a nearby piece of furniture.

SIGH!!!  Well, at least my day is about over...until he wakes up in a few hours.  LOL!!!  I've gotta laugh or I'll cry.  ;O)  At least I don't have to deal with more than one day at a time.  I can never say that our lives are boring; that's for sure.

Well, to all of you other sleep-deprived and exhausted parents out there, I'll say "goodnight."  Tomorrow is another day.  I promise to do my best not to pull my covers over my head and try to hide when my son wakes me up at 5:00 a.m.  (Hopefully not any earlier than that.  We do get on at 3:30 a.m. kick sometimes.  Ugh!)  See you tomorrow!    
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    I am a mom to three special-needs kids.  Writing about my experiences is something new I'm embarking on.  I hope my musings help, not only me, but someone else out there who walks in shoes similar to my own.

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