On Match 29, 2011, we received an autism diagnosis for my youngest son, 3 months shy of him turning 2 years old. We actually knew that something was not going right and witnessed regression before he was a year. His pediatrician wanted to give it to 15 months old, before pursuing. I was home with my daughter and step son the day my wife took my son to the doctor for his 15 month appointment. I was actually un-employed at the time. I remember sitting in a chair and her telling me that they think it is something neurological. I felt like someone had just kicked me upside the head. I couldn't speak. She asked if I was okay and I said no and left the room.
During that time frame, my daughter who is 8 years old was born with spina bifida in 2007 and underwent surgery at 2 weeks old. During the last 5 years, we also started noticing bladder issues with her, which many kids with spina bifida do have. My 15 year old step s 10 at the time, on was also diagnosed with Aspergers in 2012. All of these things actually got me to a point where I started questioning things like is God really real and why would he allow this to happen. I grew up in a Christian home, so I have always believed in God and as many people do, believing that everything is going to be okay. It wasn't! It sucked and I felt like all 3 of our kids got screwed! I was not only mad at God, but questioning his existence. The worst part was before my youngest son could actually speak and we had to piece together clues to figure out what his needs might be at certain times. It was heartbreaking, to be honest! I was also un-employed and spending lots of time on social media between searching for jobs. I took on several issues in the autism community and did the vax versus smart vax discussions. I found that I was much angrier after getting involved in those. I have certain beliefs about them and do comment every once in awhile now, but honestly, I feel that should be the parents' decision not some governmental agency. Let's just say that I see things that many don't due to my job. I also do not believe that there is just one thing that causes autism.
Fast forward 5 years at 6 1/2 years old, after lots of meltdowns, sensory processing issues, not speaking until he was 4 years old, things have changed, yet still dealing with autism. It is still a daily challenge with the autism x2 plus the spina bifida. The thing is, what we have learned and we have coped. I no longer question if God exists and am no longer angry at him. I do believe that when we hear things such as hard times don't last forever, the people saying them has no clue and has never had to deal with long term illnesses or conditions.
Our life has definitely changed since our first year of dealing with autism. My youngest son has made huge progress. He can speak, still garbled at times, but shows original thought. He is learning with my wife homeschooling him. I am back to work in the field that I love and the position came out of nowhere and not to mention, was part time with good pay for doing what I do. God definitely had a hand in working that out. My step son is now 15 and he still has certain issues, but for the most part is handling life and public school. My daughter is making progress as well. I have learned that it is okay to cry, it is okay to question the government and demand answers, it is okay to question God, but staying there and staying angry or down, does not change anything. I think that the biggest factor in helping children on the spectrum is by interacting with them on a daily basis and treating them like they are part of the family. I also think that finding the right therapies and therapists will improve things dramatically for them. You may have to go through a few. We fired 6 between OT and PT. ABA is touted as one of the greatest therapies for children with autism. It actually made things worse for my son. I don't doubt that it works for others, but my point is, pay attention to what your child can and can't handle. Don't blindly follow the recommendations of others based on their child's response or what they think they know. Go with you and your child's situation.
On a closing note, DO NOT ever give up on your child or yourself. Things will be tough and things will change. Sometimes worse and sometimes better. Hang onto the happy moments. Burn them into your memory and hang on to them during the rougher times.
During that time frame, my daughter who is 8 years old was born with spina bifida in 2007 and underwent surgery at 2 weeks old. During the last 5 years, we also started noticing bladder issues with her, which many kids with spina bifida do have. My 15 year old step s 10 at the time, on was also diagnosed with Aspergers in 2012. All of these things actually got me to a point where I started questioning things like is God really real and why would he allow this to happen. I grew up in a Christian home, so I have always believed in God and as many people do, believing that everything is going to be okay. It wasn't! It sucked and I felt like all 3 of our kids got screwed! I was not only mad at God, but questioning his existence. The worst part was before my youngest son could actually speak and we had to piece together clues to figure out what his needs might be at certain times. It was heartbreaking, to be honest! I was also un-employed and spending lots of time on social media between searching for jobs. I took on several issues in the autism community and did the vax versus smart vax discussions. I found that I was much angrier after getting involved in those. I have certain beliefs about them and do comment every once in awhile now, but honestly, I feel that should be the parents' decision not some governmental agency. Let's just say that I see things that many don't due to my job. I also do not believe that there is just one thing that causes autism.
Fast forward 5 years at 6 1/2 years old, after lots of meltdowns, sensory processing issues, not speaking until he was 4 years old, things have changed, yet still dealing with autism. It is still a daily challenge with the autism x2 plus the spina bifida. The thing is, what we have learned and we have coped. I no longer question if God exists and am no longer angry at him. I do believe that when we hear things such as hard times don't last forever, the people saying them has no clue and has never had to deal with long term illnesses or conditions.
Our life has definitely changed since our first year of dealing with autism. My youngest son has made huge progress. He can speak, still garbled at times, but shows original thought. He is learning with my wife homeschooling him. I am back to work in the field that I love and the position came out of nowhere and not to mention, was part time with good pay for doing what I do. God definitely had a hand in working that out. My step son is now 15 and he still has certain issues, but for the most part is handling life and public school. My daughter is making progress as well. I have learned that it is okay to cry, it is okay to question the government and demand answers, it is okay to question God, but staying there and staying angry or down, does not change anything. I think that the biggest factor in helping children on the spectrum is by interacting with them on a daily basis and treating them like they are part of the family. I also think that finding the right therapies and therapists will improve things dramatically for them. You may have to go through a few. We fired 6 between OT and PT. ABA is touted as one of the greatest therapies for children with autism. It actually made things worse for my son. I don't doubt that it works for others, but my point is, pay attention to what your child can and can't handle. Don't blindly follow the recommendations of others based on their child's response or what they think they know. Go with you and your child's situation.
On a closing note, DO NOT ever give up on your child or yourself. Things will be tough and things will change. Sometimes worse and sometimes better. Hang onto the happy moments. Burn them into your memory and hang on to them during the rougher times.
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